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Dont pop a stitch!

November 6, 2015

Why did you start a feed that shows my posts from the past? Why, Facebook? Why? So I can see my ignorant bliss in 2012? So I can torment myself daily? So I can have an argument in my head yelling at myself “DON’T LOOK! DON’T DO IT!! IT WON’T CHANGE ANYTHING!”….

I had a conversation with a friend.. He’s the betrayed spouse, d-day over 4 years ago. I mentioned him once early on in my blogging. We keep in touch. He tells me how people tell him he needs to date and how he’s not ready and cant be hurt again.. well not in those words, but close enough…

My response-

fuck it.. being negative about love and people is soo much easier.. its easier to be angry and pitiful.. its SAFER… soo yea… take your time.. i feel like if the pain were visible.. if people could see this huge scar across your chest.. with oozing blood and stitches maybe then they’d understand that a broken heart needs time.. and that there is NO time limit.. and even attempting to think of love is the equivalent to popping a stitch…

….and then when u least expect it you’ll meet the person that will appreciate u.. flaws and perfections.. and you’ll know that much more how to care for a relationship…
He said its flaws and imperfections….

 I wrote it the way I meant it. If someone truely loves you they will see both, you will be perfect and you will have flaws..
So…. as for betrayal being a visible pain, I pop a stitch with songs on the radio, movies, tv shows, seeing his work uniform, seeing his old work commercials… Ooh so many ways to rub salt in the wound.. But I’m here., Teaching kids bettering myself and making sure that my class is getting the teacher and education they deserve, busting my butt to make sure my own kids are good and enjoying their lives thru sports and extracurriculars. I wake up 5am and Go to bed between 9-10pm to make sure all is done.. The whore mightve been a part of ripping my heart apart, but I’ll be damned, my job is better, my kids are awesome and I was never someones secret. I have my opinions, I’ll stand up for myself and I’ll never change me to please anyone…. and maybe I lost that part of myself for a minute, but Im coming out of this stronger, better and wiser… 

From → My New Forever

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