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May 23, 2015

I wonder what life would be like if I had a faithful living husband. I wonder what things would be like if I didnt feel unappreciated. I wonder if things will ever get better. Stay or go, no one can say whether he would again or anyone new would cheat on me. Life is this blank slate and no matter how badly we want something to be it doesnt make it so.. Stay with what I know or go into the unknown and hope for what I thought I had all over again.. Put myself out ther for someone to either love me or hurt me. Its all a chance no matter what I choose. Either way I dont feel like pure happiness or solace is anywhere near me…

From → My New Forever

  1. A key question would be, “Why do you still doubt him?”

    • Why would I ever trust him?

      • Sadly, I don’t think you/we will ever trust them again. But we can trust ourselves and we can’t make others pay for the betrayal of another. We have to believe/I have to believe there are people out there who will remain faithful. I refuse to push away love, because the man I thought was my best friend, my husband, my forever, ended up being just another “man”.

      • The more I stay with him the crazier i feel

      • I would imagine so. I know when my “husband” finally walked out the door, I was beginning to understand those people who finally snap. The truth is, he left right on time for had he stayed even a week longer I am sure I would have done something horrible, which I could have never taken back. I hate you are still feeling so much anger. I hate you are still hurting so badly. The hurt may never end, but I believe the anger lessens if we, or they, remove themselves from our lives. Of course, just like me, you are bound to him because of your children. Stay strong and be true to you.

  2. My best handle on this awful reality is to acknowledge my trust in myself to retain my values and my boundaries even though who I’m with may not share these. I am wiser to the nasty nasty shenanigans of adultery and will not allow myself to accept them again from my husband or from anyone else. The only option to completely avoid this risk is to be alone but I know that I would not choose to be without love even though it’s a risky business. Life hurts and we just have to muddle our way through as best we can. You are not on your own there are so many women struggling as you are. Things do get easier to bear x

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